In the Midst of It All: My Real-Time Battle with Procrastination and Fear

Taylor here!

This week, I'm getting real about my ongoing battle with procrastination, the fear of taking the first step, and the struggle of not having the financial resources to move as quickly as I'd like. It's raw, it's authentic, and yes, it's a bit messy.

Prefer to listen to the short version? Dive deeper into these thoughts with me in the video linked below.

Self-employment isn't just about the highs; it's also about the lows and everything in between. Sometimes, it feels like I'm wandering through a fog, aware that a clear path lies ahead but unable to see it just yet. However, I've come to realize that this fog, this pressure, pushes me to think beyond the conventional paths laid out for us.

Instead of waiting for the perfect moment or resources, I'm learning to make do with what I have right now. It may not always be glamorous, but it's authentic. I believe there's strength and creativity to be discovered in these moments of uncertainty.

In the past, uncertainty would lead me to make impulsive purchases, hoping that a new tool or service would solve all my problems. The reality? A sudden increase in recurring expenses draining my already dry bank account.

For my fellow ADHD individuals, you may relate to the allure of aspirational spending, believing that each purchase will propel you over the hurdle. While investing in oneself is crucial, there comes a point where boundaries need to be set.

To hold myself accountable for future purchases, I've implemented a reward system. For instance, while attempting to streamline my workspace, I accidentally damaged my 34-inch ultrawide curved monitor that I had recently acquired. Ouch, it still stings.

Instead of immediately replacing it, I've chosen to delay until I achieve a milestone in my business. I can't keep accumulating items without utilizing them. Shiny new gadgets won't magically inspire me to create content; I must take the initiative.

I'm tackling the backlog of videos that have piled up, starting the editing process. Despite rearranging my office to perfection, it remains a chaotic mess. The goal was to resume recording, but doubts linger.

I'm no longer waiting for ideal conditions. I'm taking action wherever I can. It may be frustrating at times to deviate from my plan, but as long as it propels me forward, I'm content. Vanessa Lau once mentioned that our minds resist actions that challenge our comfort zones. Therefore, recording and editing feel like arduous tasks because they're not yet habitual. My aspiration is to establish a daily routine where I create content, handle business matters, and spend quality time with my husband. Although that's not my current reality, every small step counts.

What's one small action you can take to progress today?

If you've ever felt paralyzed by the need for perfection before taking a leap, here's an idea to try to keep yourself accountable without the pressure to be perfect: a contract with yourself.

My Personal Contract: A Commitment to Self-Growth and Authenticity

Why create a contract with myself? I’ve done it for everything else. When you accept a job offer, you’re signing a contract. Any brand deals that I’ve done in the past? Contract. Any guests that I’ve had on my podcast. Contract. Loans? Contract.

I could go on but I’m sure you get the point. So I thought why not try a little reverse psychology on myself? Since I seem to keep up with other contracts it’s worth a shot right? I told myself I’m not going back to working for someone else but that all depends on me continuing to push forward with everything I said I wanted (and need) to do.

Now, it’s your turn. I challenge you to draft a contract with yourself. What commitments will you make to ensure you keep moving forward, stay true to yourself, and take care of your needs? What do you hope to see in 6 months?

Why an envelope to open in six months? Because it’s a time capsule of your intentions. It’s a future message from past you, reminding you of what you set out to do and showing you just how far you’ve come.

So, grab that pen and paper, and make a promise to yourself. Share your thoughts or a photo of your sealed envelope in the comments if you feel comfortable. Let’s make this journey together, supporting each other in our commitments to growth, resilience, and authenticity.

Now to put those intentions to work! I've got laundry to tackle. But first, a snack hehe.

Catch you next time,

Taylor ✌🏽🖤